Steve Irwin 1962-2006

A lot of you know how few heroes or idols I have. I'm very picky as to who I look up to, they have to be an all around good person, who always is giving over 100% to do what they feel is right, and what I feel is right. One person I looked up to all my life was Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. I found out this morning that yesterday evening, he was stung in the chest by a Sting Ray, and died soon after. It always sucks when someone you look up to dies; especially if it's a life-long hero. I don't think I have ever seen anyone have as much passion as he did for his proffesion and his beliefs. I remember a show he did that he dedicated to Veteran's of WWII, which I trully admired. His crazyness was awesome, and his energy mirrored mine, in that we were both almost too hyperactive. He was a fuel to the fire of my interest in snakes, and I would always watch his show. Even one of my pipe-dreams was to be an animal documentarist like him. I guess the term "Rest in Peace" doesn't really work for him, since he was always doing something. So I guess, instead, it's a "Have fun up there!" His passion, energy, and just all around awesomeness made him trully and undeniably THE CROCODILE HUNTER!

CROCS RULE!

Wow!!

It only took one night, but I am back to my old self again! One thing happened, and whamabam! I'm happy-go-lucky-wahoo-hell-yes me again!!

Ask what happened, I won't post it here ^_^. Hah.

Wackawackadoodooyeah!

A missing link?

I went for an hour and a half long walk today, to start answering some mental questions that I've had for awhile, one of which was: What's missing? It took me awhile, but I came to a fairly simple answer. That answer is that I don't have a best friend, anymore. I have a lot of good friends, and even more just plain friends, but I'm missing that friend that most people have, that I'd always hang out with, we'd always get along, do the same stuff etc etc. You know what I'm talking about, if not, oh well. In any case, I'm going to fix that problem somehow. Maybe that friend is one I had in the past that's drifted away. We shall see.

Anyways, the walk did me some good. Time to myself is a blessing, most definitely.. lol. I'll be trying to do that daily from now on.

This Xanga is becoming like a place to just type stuff out. Nice thing to have, chyeah? Hah, it's just like Zobo and his blogspot xD.

Decisions to be made... I wonder how much stuff will change in the next day.. If things continue like they are, a lot will change. And that's not a bad thing =D.

Wow, that all sounded a lot more emo than intended. Meh, been a long day, give me a break!! .

Tomarrow is NikeTown with the exchange students!! Yes!! Easilly the funnest part of my summer!! I'm looking forward to it.

Figure out your own title

I have just realized how long that it's been since I've had time to myself. I'm always out doing something with someone, and when I'm home, there's ALWAYS someone here, so I'm never actually alone. I'm sure that sounds like a good thing to some people, but there's just some times when you need time to yourself. That's what I need. It's been possibly over a year since I've actually had time to myself (except when out driving [which takes concentration, and loses the point of being by myself]). It's changed me for the worse, and it's been an obvious change. I haven't been able to keep convorsations on AIM going as long as I used to be able to. I'm being a bit ruder to people, totally on accident, because I'm so mentally tired, and I just don't realize it. There seems to always be something going on inside my head, and there's never a chance to unwind and either let it all go, or sort it all out. It's made me too tired, and I've lost sight of who I need to be, and how I can really be the friend, and person, that I once was. I think I'm going to start getting up early everyday, soon, to just go out running or walking by myself. I need that time by myself to unwind, or else I'll just continue this downward spiral of being a worse and worse friend, and become more and more distant from everyone.

At the moment, I'm just glad I've finally pinpointed the problem that's causing all of my negativity, problems, and bad changes. Now, I just hope that I've found the right remedy to start the change back to who I know I should be.

Hm

Well, I'm not too sure what I should consider today as. A success or a failure. I mean, okay, so, I pulled off my backyard wrestling show today. That's a success. I pulled it off even though eight people that I excpected to be in the show couldn't show up, or just decided they didn't want to, and then most of the people I excpected/wanted to be in the audience didn't show up. The audience that was there (All three people [failure]), never cheared at all (failure). The stereo had massive problems (failure), the pyro had problems (failure), and none of the neighbors wanted to come, and even lied to me to not have to come (failure). but, I still pulled it off, so that's a success. Not to mention the fact that some people who were in the show, and stayed for the show, lied to me so they wouldn't have to practice, which caused problems. Now, don't get me wrong, I hold no grudges against the people who couldn't come for whatever reason, or whatever. The lying pissed me off, though. That was a bit much...

I dunno, maybe I excpect too much of people? Needless to say, my trust in people has been shot to Hell after this week. I just can't stand people promising me things, then lying to me to get out of it, or just not telling me things, and me having to go and ask everyone annoying repetetive questions to figure out if they'll be there or not. I don't mind people not coming because they'd be uncomfortable, or because they had to work, that was fine by me, but promising me they would come and then just saying "well, I kinda wanna do this other thing that I could do any other day, so I'll just ditch you and not tell you about it" pissed me off. People lying to me pissed me off. People lying to me to make me feel guilty, and then continuing to lie, only to tell me they were lying later on and laugh about it pissed me off. If people just told me they couldn't come, or that they just flat didn't want to, I was cool with that, because they were honest with me.

Anyways, I start working tomarrow. I still want to do this TWF stuff, but it's going to be really hard without being able to trust people, anymore. But, I'm a forgiving guy, and I'll probably forgive everyone that did any of that within two days. I don't hold grudges. I just needed to vent.